69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
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