I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
