your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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