remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
