have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Randomize
