problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
