She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Randomize
