So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
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