it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
