Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize
