I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
