did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I could make wine with my vomit
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
