this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
