He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
