You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
my shit smells like andre
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
