Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Randomize
