she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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