I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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