dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
