guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
