i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Randomize
