also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
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