wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
