I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
