we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Randomize
