I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
