did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
