glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
