im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Boobs speak an international language.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
