This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Randomize
