I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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