As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
