If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Randomize
