He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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