He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Randomize
