I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
