You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
