i just had sex bonerless
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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