She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
