I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
