sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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