It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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