yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
