I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
