So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
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