Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
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