Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
this just has baby written all over it
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
