she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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