I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
