What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
