Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
