I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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